The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Warner Klemp (9/10)

PART I | INTRODUCTION

Leadership operates from one of two places: above the line or below the line.

• Above the line leadership is open, curious, and committed to learning.
• Below the line leadership is closed, defensive, and committed to being right.

The first mark of conscious leaders is self-awareness and the ability to tell themselves the truth. Distortion and denial are cornerstone traits of unconscious leaders.

When we perceive a threat to our sense of well-being, we go “below the line.” We don’t choose this at a conscious level.

Once leaders develop self-awareness and locate themselves accurately below the line, they create the possibility of shifting, a master of conscious leaders.

Shifting is moving from closed to open, from defensive to curious, from wanting to be right to wanting to learn, and from fighting for the survival of the individual ego to leading from a place of security and trust.

Commitment is a statement of “what is.”  You can know your commitments by your results, not by what you say your commitments are. We are all committed. We are all producing results. Conscious leaders own their commitments by owning their results.

All conversations have both content and context. Content answers the questions, “What are we talking about?” Context answers the question, “How are we talking about the content?” Great leaders pay more attention to how conversations are occurring (context) than what is being talked about (content).

THE FOUR WAYS OF LEADING MODEL: Shows the states of consciousness leaders operate in: To Me, By Me, Through Me, and As Me.

1. “TO ME” – LIFE HAPPENS TO ME

Posture: Victim

If I am in the To Me consciousness, I see myself “at the effect of,” meaning that the cause of my condition is outside me. It is happening To Me. Whether I see the cause as another person, circumstance, or condition, I believe I’m being acted upon by external forces.

We call this To Me mindset “victim consciousness”. Those operating in the To Me victim consciousness are constantly looking to the past to assign blame for their current experience.

Leaders are well served by focusing first on the shift from To Me to By Me leadership.

•  “BY ME” – I MAKE LIFE HAPPEN

Posture: Creator

By Me Leaders choose curiosity and learning over defensiveness and being right (two cornerstones of the To Me consciousness). Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” the By Me Leader asks questions like, “What can I learn from this?” “How is this situation ‘for me’?” “How am I creating this and keeping it going?”

The gateway from moving from To Me to By Me is radical responsibility.

• “THROUGH ME” – I COOPERATE WITH LIFE HAPPENING

Posture: Co-Creator

The key to Through Me is that leaders begin to notice something beyond themselves. They do not try to “figure out” their answer, which would be By Me consciousness.  Instead, they listen attentively to what wants to be communicated to them.

Surrender or letting go is the gateway to move from By Me to Through Me. For most leaders, this means getting go of control.

• “AS ME” LIFE IS ME

Posture: At one with all

As Me Consciousness has two aspects: oneness and the absence of a personal “me.” 

Oneness – imagine a world where there is no separation between you and your employees or you and your competitors or you and the environment.

The As Me state has no questions, no seeking, no suffering.

PART II | THE 15 COMMITMENTS
COMMITMENT 1: Taking Radical Responsibility:

• Taking full responsibility for one’s circumstances (physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually) is the foundation of true personal and relational transformation.
• Blame, shame, and guilt all come from toxic fear. Once fear kicks in, a common defense mechanism is to blame someone, something, or ourselves so we can keep our sense of identity (our ego) intact.
• Toxic fear drives the victim-villain-hero triangle. Heroes hate conflict, pain, and tension, and seek to temporarily relieve discomfort without really dealing with the issue.  It’s toxic because it leads to burn out, supporting others in taking less than their full responsibility (being victims), and rewards behaviors that ultimately lead to individual and team breakdown.
• Conscious leaders and teams take full responsibility—radical responsibility—instead of placing blame.
• Radical responsibility means locating the cause and control of our lives in ourselves, not in external events.
• Instead of asking “Who’s to blame?” or “how can we fix this” or “how can we keep this from happening”, conscious leaders ask, “What can we learn and how can we grow from this?”
• Conscious leaders are open to the possibility that instead of controlling and changing the world, perhaps the world is just right the way it is. This creates huge growth opportunities on a personal and organizational level

COMMITMENT 2: Learning Through Curiosity

• Four competencies are the greatest predictors of sustained success: self-awareness, learning agility, communication and influence. Self-awareness and learning agility are the foundation of conscious leadership.
• Conscious leaders are passionately committed to knowing themselves, which is the basis of their willingness to live in a state of curiosity.
• At any point, leaders are either above the line (open, curious, and committed to learning) or below the line (defensive, closed and committed to being right).
• No other commitment is more central to the core of unconscious people than the one to being right. Being “right” doesn’t cause drama, but wanting, proving, and fighting to be “right” does.
• Even though conscious leaders get defensive like everyone else, they regularly interrupt this natural reactivity by pausing to breathe (be present), accept (for being in a drift/defensive/reactive state), and shift.

• The issue is not whether we will drift but how long we stay in a drift before we shift.
• There are two kinds of shift moves: conscious breathing (box breathing – 4 seconds inhale, 4 seconds hold, 4 seconds exhale) and changing our posture (less defensive).  and those that change our consciousness (such as speaking unarguably and appreciation).
• Effective leaders get into a state of wonder on a consistent basis. Wonder is as much about the question as it is about the answer. A wonder question is an open-ended question that has no “right” answer. “I wonder what I can learn today that will benefit everyone” “I wonder how we could get more done in less time”

COMMITMENT 3: Feeling All Feelings

• Great leaders learn to access all three centers of intelligence: the head, the heart, and the gut.
• Feelings are viewed as negative and a distraction to good decision-making and leadership. Emotional intelligence is the ability to lead from the heart center along with the head and gut.
• Conscious leaders know that feelings are natural and expressing them is healthy. Emotion is “e-motion.” Energy in motion; feelings are simply physical sensations.
• The five primary emotions are anger, fear, sadness, joy, and sexual feelings. To help leaders develop emotional intelligence, we need to locate our feelings and ask: “what am I feeling right now?”

Emotion	Location
Anger	Jaw, back, back of neck, across the shoulders
Fear	Belly
Sadness	Eyes, high chest, upper throat
Joy	Core, Spine
Sexual	Pelvis, genitals, erogenous zones

• Every feeling we experience invites us in a specific way to grow in awareness and knowing.
• Repressing, denying, or recycling emotions creates physical, psychological, and relationship problems. If you repress or recycle emotions, it can harden into a mood: Anger becomes bitterness. Fear becomes anxiety. Sadness becomes apathy.

To release emotion,

1. Locate the sensation in the body (“What are the bits in our body doing?”)
2. Breathe (box breathing)
3. Allow or accept the sensation (“Can I allow or even welcome these sensations?”). Don’t repress or resist the emotion.
4. Match your experience with your expression (“What sound or movement does this sensation want?”).

• Conscious leaders learn to locate, name, and release their feelings. They know that feelings not only add richness and color to life but are also an essential ally to successful leadership.

COMMITMENT 4: Speaking Candidly

• Leaders and teams have found that seeing reality clearly is essential to being successful.
• In order to see reality clearly, leaders and organizations need everyone to be truthful and not lie about, or withhold, information. They need candor.

e.g. I judge that my boss is disrespectful towards others and me. I withhold this judgment and withdraw a bit in the relationship. From this place of withdrawal, I see him through my lens of judgment, which means that I see him as disrespectful. Once I see him as disrespectful, I look for evidence to confirm that I’m RIGHT about my judgment.

• Candor is the revealing of all thoughts, feelings, and sensations in an honest, open, and aware way.

• Truthfulness: How accurate was my reveal? Time is 9:15
• Openness: How complete was my reveal? If you watch battery died and you arrive at 9:40. You say you arrived after 9:15 (you are truthful and open, but not aware)
• Awareness: How self-aware am I?
• Speaking candidly increases the probability that leaders and teams can collectively see reality more clearly.
• Withholding is refraining from revealing everything to all relevant parties.
• Withholding also decreases energy in leaders, which often shows up as boredom or lethargy in them and relational disconnection in the team.
• Rather than withholding, conscious leaders practice revealing. They reveal not because they are right, but because they wish to be known.
• Through this transparency, they create connection and open learning.
• Conscious listening is one of the most important skills for effective leadership: by identifying our listening “filters,” we can let go of them and become fully present to the expression of the other person.
  • Avoid these common listening filters: diagnose, correct, avoid conflict, or defend. 
• Conscious listening takes courage:
• We must listen for the content (head center) – repeat what you heard to get confirmation
• Listen to their emotions (heart center) – what emotions are being expressed directly or indirectly as they speak
• Base desire (gut center) being expressed by the other person – what does the other person want? 

• It is best to start with candor in relationships only when you have a shared commitment to it, along with the necessary skills, including being able to speak unarguably.
• Speaking Unarguably: a thought (I’m having the thought that…), a feeling (I feel..), or a sensation (I’m having a body sensation of …”)

COMMITMENT 5: Eliminating Gossip

• Even though gossip has long been a part of office culture, it is a key indicator of an unhealthy organization and one of the fastest ways to derail motivation and creativity.
• Gossip is a statement about another made by someone with negative intent or a statement the speaker would be unwilling to share in exactly the same way if that person were in the room.
• People gossip to gain validation, control others and outcomes, avoid conflict, get attention, feel included, and make themselves right by making others wrong. In short, people usually gossip out of fear.
• If you gossip, clean it up by revealing your participation in the gossip to everyone involved.
• Use the issue-clearing model as a tool to separate fact from story and to learn to speak directly to one another.
• Brian: Clears the Issue
  • Affirm a meaningful relationship – “Jim, I want to clear this issue with you because I value our business relationship”
  • Establish a time to talk – “Is now a good time or talk? If not now, when?”
  • The specific facts are…” – “The facts are that for four of the last five meetings, you showed up after the start time.”
  • “I made up a story that…” – “I made up a story that this meeting isn’t important to you. You aren’t prioritizing this project.”
  • “I feel…” – “I feel angry and scared”
  • “My part in this is…” – “My part in this is that I didn’t speak directly to you the first time it happened. I also didn’t create a clear agreement with you at the onset about the timing or priority of these meetings.
  • “And I specifically want…” – “I want to make clear time agreements with you and negotiated them beforehand, if necessary. I would really like you to check in with yourself to see whether you are aligned with this project and to tell me if you aren’t
• Jim – Listens to Understand
• “What I hear you saying…” – What I hear you saying is that when I was late to four meetings, you made that mean I wasn’t committed to the project and that my with priorities as they are now this project may fall through the cracks. You feel angry and scared. You want to have clear time agreements for the future and for me to check about my own commitment to the project as a priority.
• After reflecting, ask, “is that accurate” – if not, reflect again
• “Is there more” – ask in a kind, genuine curious voice
• “Are you clear about this?”
• When leaders and teams learn to speak candidly with each other, they benefit from the direct feedback about issues within the organization that otherwise could derail creative energy and productive collaboration.

COMMITMENT 6: Practicing Integrity

• Integrity is the practice of keeping agreements, taking responsibility, revealing authentic feelings, and expressing unarguable truths. It is essential to thriving leaders and organizations.
• Integrity is not defined here as conforming to a moral or ethical code, but rather as facilitating wholeness and congruence.
• Integrity is an unbroken flow of energy and life force, congruence between what is experienced and expressed, and alignment with life purpose.
  • Congruence is matching what is on the inside to what is on the outside.
• Organizations have a natural flow of energy, but when it is interrupted by integrity breaches, leadership is dampened, and employee engagement decreases.
• Conscious leaders are masters at managing energy, which leads to an organizational culture that is alive, engaged, passionate, on purpose, creative, innovative, intuitive, clear, visionary, playful, relaxed, and refreshed.
• There are four pillars of integrity: taking radical responsibility (Commitment 1), speaking candidly (Commitment 4), feeling all feelings (Commitment 3), and keeping agreements (Commitment 6).
• Conscious leaders are impeccable with their agreements. They make clear agreements, keep them, renegotiate them when needed, and clean them up when broken.
  • Clear Agreements: Instead of a whole body YES, many leaders practice the “corporate nod” – e.g. “I have no intention of doing that, but no one will ever follow up”
  • Keep Them: Conscious leaders keep 90% of the agreements they make
  • Renegotiate Them: Conscious leaders negotiate less than 10% of their agreements
  • Clean Them Up: When cleaning up a broken agreement, first keep your statement short and simple – It’s my fault that I did (or didn’t do it) and take 100% responsibility.  Second ask, if there is anything you can to do clean up the broken agreement.

COMMITMENT 7: Generating Appreciation

• Committing to appreciation, along with avoiding entitlement, helps leaders and organizations grow value and connection in the workplace.
• Appreciation is comprised of two parts: sensitive awareness (simply paying attention and noticing the finer details or fresh set of eyes) and an increase in value.
• Entitlement arises when rewards and benefits become an expectation instead of a preference.
• Living in appreciation has two branches: being open to fully receiving appreciation and being able to fully give appreciation.
  • Research shows approximately five appreciations for every one criticism comment is the optimal ratio for strong relationships
• Masterful appreciation is sincere (must be real and true), unarguable (I appreciate you for…; I felt…), specific, and succinct (said in one breath).

COMMITMENT 8: Excelling in Your Zone of Genius

• Conscious leaders build an organization that allows all team members to realize their full potential—and they support and inspire others to do the same.
• People tend to work and live in four zones: incompetence, competence, excellence, and genius.
  • Incompetence: if you both dislike the activity and do it poorly, dump it (stop doing it), delegate it, or do it differently (can you do it fun?) Exit this zone!
• Conscious leaders are committed to maximizing their zone of genius, where their full magnificence and creativity can be expressed without hesitation.
• Unconscious leaders get stuck in the zones of excellence, competence, and incompetence, never living up to and expressing their extraordinary brilliance.
• The Upper Limits Problem, named by Gay Hendricks, identifies the fears and beliefs that keep people from stepping into their zone of genius.
• We can program our nervous systems to allow for greater happiness, fulfillment, and relational connectedness.
• Becoming aware of our unique giftedness, as well as the environments where that is most valued, (the Best Stuff Exercise – where we were in the zone) helps us spend more and more of our time thriving.
• Conscious leaders who spend time with team members to assess, understand, and appreciate their own unique genius qualities and talents create organizations that excel on all levels.

COMMITMENT 9: Living a Life of Play and Rest

• Creating a life of play, improvisation, and laughter allows life to unfold easily and energy to be maximized.
• Play is an absorbing, apparently purposeless activity that provides enjoyment and suspends self-consciousness and a sense of time. It is also self-motivating and makes you want to do it again.
• An imposed nose-to-the-grindstone culture will lead to higher levels of stress, guilt, employee burnout and turnover.
• Energy exerted with this type of “hard work” is wrought with effort and struggle, whereas energy exerted through play is energizing.
  • Effort implies resistance and exertion doesn’t.
• Most leaders resist play because they think they will fall behind if they aren’t seriously working hard.
• Organizations that take breaks to rest and play are actually more productive and creative. Energy is maximized when rest, renewal, and personal rhythms are honored.
• Conscious leaders who value and encourage an atmosphere of play and joy within themselves and in their organizations create high-functioning, high-achieving cultures.
  • The humor in most organizations is sarcastic humor that pokes fun at others often when they are not present or sophomoric humor that trivializes what is good and beautiful in life.
• Workaholism is just like any other addiction, and it is an epidemic in the corporate world.

COMMITMENT 10: Exploring the Opposite

• Exploring the opposite means being open to the notion that the opposite of your story (thoughts, beliefs, opinions) could be as true as or truer than your story.
• It is not the issue itself that causes pain, but your interpretation of it.
• Conscious leaders take responsibility for being the labeler of their experiences and their life, and they learn to question all their labels.
• Conscious leaders practice simple ways to question the beliefs that cause suffering, starting with “Is it true?” and “Can I absolutely know it is true?” How do you react, what happens when you believe that thought?  Who would you be without that thought?
• The turnaround exercise allows leaders to practice shifting their beliefs from knowing to curiosity.
  • Example: John is unkind to me
  • Turn it around to the opposite: John is kind to me
  • Turn it around to the other person: I am unkind to John
  • Turn it around to yourself: I am unkind to me
  • How is this statement as true or truer? Give at least three specific examples.
• When conscious leaders let go of the righteousness of their beliefs, they open to curiosity and align with their deepest desires.

COMMITMENT 11: Sourcing Approval, Control and Security

• Humans have core wants of approval, control, and security. All other wants are versions of these three basic desires, which show up in a multitude of ways.
• Security is about survival, approval is about belonging and being part of something, and control is the ego’s last resort if it cannot achieve security through approval.
  • Conscious leaders regularly ask themselves: “What is the core want driving this (surface) desire?”
• The challenge is not in having approval, control, and security, but in believing that they are missing. This causes people to seek these core desires outside themselves—somewhere “out there.”
• The “If Only . . . I Would” exercise can help leaders wake up from the trance that their happiness is located outside themselves.
  • “If only I would lose weight, I would have approval and security”
• It’s not the wants but the “wanting” of something different that leads to an unsatisfying life.
  • Wanting says I don’t have it and I need to go outside of myself to get it.
• All leaders at any moment are operating from one of two experiences: either they think they lack something and seek to get it from somewhere or someone, or they believe they are already whole, perfect, and complete and move in the world from love and creativity
• Pain in life is not optional, but suffering is. As long as we keep seeking and wanting something we believe we don’t have, we suffer.

COMMITMENT 12: Having Enough of Everything

• Conscious leaders experience their lives as having enough of everything: time, money, love, energy, space, and resources.
• The scarcity belief that there is “not enough” causes leaders to focus on making sure they get what is “theirs.”
• The myths that feed scarcity are that there is never enough, more is better, and it will always be this way (we can never change or escape).
• Conscious leaders notice this focus on the toxic myth of insufficiency and shift from a mentality of scarcity to one of sufficiency.
• To unwind scarcity, conscious leaders notice their reference point and check in with themselves, actively challenging their beliefs.
• Conscious leaders can practice checking in with their experience in the present moment, bringing attention to the physical body, and noticing the abundance of each moment.
• To those committed to conscious leadership, the belief and experience of sufficiency creates a profound shift in their relationship with others, work, and life.

COMMITMENT 13: Experiencing the World as an Ally

• Conscious leaders commit to seeing all people and circumstances as allies in their growth.
• Unconscious reactive leaders view other people and circumstances as obstacles to getting what they want.
• Most leaders start with this reactive mindset: they are convinced they will feel happy once they get what they want and if they can’t get what they want, it’s because others are standing in their way.
• Rather than seeing all people as allies, unconscious leaders think either/or: “people are either with me or against me.”
• This does not mean that competition is nonexistent, but that even competitors are supportive catalysts for growth and that adversaries can be extremely beneficial.
• Challenges create the positive pressure often needed for conscious leaders to expand beyond the comfort zone and into their full magnificence.
• Conscious leaders are able to shift out of the state of comparison to see everyone and everything as equally valuable.
• This perspective recognizes that all people and circumstances are allies in learning and growth.

COMMITMENT 14: Creating Win for All Solutions

• Win-for-all solutions are a goal of conscious leaders and organizations.
• Conscious leaders commit to moving beyond the zero-sum game into a creative solution that serves all.
•  
• Win-for-all solutions require the building blocks of the other conscious leadership commitments, providing a concrete example of how conscious leaders integrate all the commitments into a way of being in the world.
• Within an organization, win-for-all coaching questions help create a culture that supports and encourages everyone.
• The energy resulting from win-for-all collaboration allows solutions to be implemented quickly.
• A win-for-all culture allows an organization to thrive as creativity, collaboration, vision, and achievement are optimized

COMMITMENT 15: Being the Resolution

• Being the resolution means that conscious leaders recognize what is missing in the world (what could be more? What could be even more beautiful, efficient, aligned, or productive) and view that as an invitation to become what is needed.
• When unconscious leaders grow weary of an intense version of the victim-villain-hero triangle, they often shift to an “indifferent” experience of drama, characterized by apathy and resentment.
• Many unconscious leaders, who have spent their entire careers problem-solving, delivering results, and pulling people along, often feel drained and want to disconnect.
• Team members who don’t feel heard by unconscious leaders stop caring about making changes and give up on creating solutions that could benefit the organization.
• Conscious leaders see what is missing, not from a perspective of lack, but of opportunity. They then follow a calling to respond to the perceived need.
• Being the resolution takes place only from a conscious leader’s whole body YES!
• Being the resolution incorporates the mastery of living from several of the other commitments and, once mastered, allows conscious leaders to move the world to greater beauty, alignment, productivity, efficiency, and grace

PART III | SHIFTING TO CONSCIOUS LEADERSHIP
THE CHANGE FORMULA: (V X D) + FS > R = C

C = Change

R = Resistance (resistance to change is rooted in fear – if I changed, what am I afraid would happen, what’s at risk if I stop being the way I’ve been or doing what I’ve been doing?)

V = Vision (a picture of a preferable future – e.g. like MLK Jr. or Steve Jobs)

D = Dissatisfaction (could refer to pain; dissatisfaction with the status quo – most people/organizations overcome resistance to change by becoming extremely dissatisfied with the status quo or having a “burning platform”

FS = First Steps (V X D gives us the “why”, while FS gives us the “what and how”; they are not equal to vision and pain in their efficacy for overcoming resistance. They are necessary, but not equal).

Willingness to Change

• What in life do you want to change? Make a list
• Now ask yourself, “Am I willing to change? Am I really willing to change?)

The first step to willingness is owning – fully owning – our unwillingness.

When we own our resistance, we see that we simply need more motivation: more vision or dissatisfaction.

Practice the 4 A’s:

• Acknowledge – can you simply acknowledge that you are where you are?
• Allow – stop and see if you’re willing to allow yourself to just be where you are?
• Accept – can you accept yourself for being just the way you are?
• Appreciate – can you appreciate yourself for being just where you are?

15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership Statements

#	Commitment	Above the Line	Below the Line
1	Responsibility	I commit to taking full responsibility for the circumstances of my life, and my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. I commit to supporting others to take full responsibility for their lives.	I commit to blaming others and myself for what is wrong in the world. I commit to being a victim, villain, or hero and taking more or less than 100% responsibility.
2	Curiosity	I commit to growing in self-awareness. I commit to regarding every interaction as an opportunity to learn. I commit to curiosity as a path to rapid learning.	I commit to being right and to seeing this situation as something that is happening to me. I commit to being defensive, especially when I am certain that I am RIGHT.
3	Feelings	I commit to feeling my feelings all the way through to completion. They come, and I locate them in my body, then move, breathe, and vocalize them so they release all the way through.	I commit to resisting, judging, and apologizing for my feelings. I repress, avoid, and withhold them.
4	Candor	I commit to saying what is true for me. I commit to being a person to whom others can express themselves with candor.	I commit to withholding my truth (facts, feelings, things I imagine) and speaking in a way that allows me to try to manipulate an outcome. I commit to not listening to the other person.
5	Gossip	I commit to ending gossip, talking directly to people with whom I have an issue or concern, and encouraging others to talk directly to people with whom they have an issue or concern.	I commit to saying things about people that I have not or will not say to them. I commit to talking about people in ways I wouldn’t if they were there. I commit to listening to others when they gossip.
6	Integrity	I commit to the masterful practice of integrity, including acknowledging all authentic feelings, expressing the unarguable truth, and keeping my agreements.	I commit to living in incompletion by withholding my truth, denying my feelings, not keeping my agreements, and not taking 100% responsibility.
7	Appreciation	I commit to living in appreciation, fully opening to both receiving and giving appreciation.	I commit to feeling entitled to what’s mine, resenting when it’s not acknowledged in the way I want.
8	Genius	I commit to expressing my full magnificence and to supporting and inspiring others to fully express their creativity and live in their zone of genius.	I commit to holding myself back and not realizing my full potential by living in areas of incompetence, competence, and excellence.
9	Play and Rest	I commit to creating a life of play, improvisation, and laughter. I commit to seeing all of life unfold easefully and effortlessly. I commit to maximizing my energy by honoring rest, renewal, and rhythm.	I commit to seeing my life as serious; it requires hard work, effort, and struggle. I see play and rest as distractions from effectiveness and efficiency.
10	Opposite of My Story	I commit to seeing that the opposite of my story is as true or truer than my original story. I recognize that I interpret the world around me and give my stories meaning.	I commit to believing my stories and the meaning I give them as the truth.
11	Approval	I commit to being the source of my security, control, and approval.	I commit to living from the belief that my approval, control, and security come from the outside people, circumstances, and conditions.
12	Enough	I commit to experiencing that I have enough of everything… including time, money, love, energy, space, resources, etc.	I commit to a scarcity mentality, choosing to see that there is not enough for me and others in the world, and therefore I have to be conscious of making sure I get and preserve what is mine.
13	Allies	I commit to seeing all people and circumstances as allies that are perfectly suited to help me learn the most important things for my growth.	I commit to seeing other people and circumstances as obstacles and impediments to getting what I most want.
14	Win for All	I commit to creating win-for-all solutions (win for me, win for the other person, win for the organization, and win for the whole) for whatever issues, problems, concerns, or opportunities life gives me.	I commit to seeing life as a zero-sum game, creating win/lose solutions for whatever issues, problems, concerns, or opportunities life gives me.
15	Being the Resolution	I commit to being the resolution or solution that is needed: seeing what is missing in the world as an invitation to become that which is required.	I commit to responding to the needs of the world with apathy or resentment and doing nothing or assigning blame to others.